September 12, 2011. 

The day I stopped being afraid. 

…of numbers.
…of comparisons.
…of the mirror.
…of the scale.

You see, last night I stepped on the scale for the first time in as long as I can remember and I actually looked down at the number.

And was not afraid.

Sure, I had a feeling I might”like” the number I saw glowing back at me given how the  barre n9ne challenge has transformed me – body and soul. And that definitely helped me to surpass my previous fear of the scale (and numbers) in that moment –where it was either look down or look away.

But what I really realized in that moment? It really wouldn’t matter what that number said on the scale. It still doesn’t. What matters is that the scale, numbers, all of it, has zero affect on me. 

I do not fixate.
I do not judge.
I do not compare.
I do not fear.

It’s just a number. Pure and simple.

How I feel today has utterly nothing to do with that number on the scale.
At. All.

I have learned so much in the past four months since barre  n9ne (and Tanya!) came into my life – and none of what I have learned has anything at all to do with numbers.

I’ve learned:
…to be happy and comfortable in my skin.
…that I am confident in who I am and what I am capable of doing.
…what this body is capable of doing.

This much I’ve learned.

And today?
…I am changed.
…transformed.
…not afraid.
Empowered.  

I am ready to take on as many challenges as I can. Because I now know that this body is capable of anything. Literally anything.

But for now? I’m reveling in this moment.
The day I stopped being afraid.