Unplugged: the things (we) learned

An entire weekend completely disconnected, shut out from the rest of the world…and you learn. A lot.

About yourself.
About your relationship.
About balance. 
…particularly how imbalanced my life – our life – had become. 

So this post is dedicated to the things (we) learned while unplugged, done in he said/she said fashion.

Time…and life…slows down while unplugged. 
He said: Sitting on the couch on Friday night, after an easy dinner (breakfast for dinner!), enjoying a glass of wine, totally uninterrupted. The clocks stopped.
She said:  I loved not being on a schedule of any sort on Saturday morning. No clocks or timetables to push us into go-go-GO mode was awesome. I’ve missed that.

It’s amazing the little things you notice when you’re not constantly distracted by texts, emails, and FB / twitter messages. 
He said: To be the center of your wife’s universe is just an amazing feeling. I cherished that this weekend.
She said:  I can’t even count the times I paused and just looked over at Scott while we were walking down Newbury Street and just smiled. The glee on his face made my heart soar. That twinkle in his eye and the way his dimples popped out (they only come out when he’s REALLY smiling big) – I’d have missed all of that if I had my phone with me.

It’s ok to put our relationship first. No apology needed. 
He said: I was never worried about this. My true friends understand. My family…well, they’re stuck with me so they have to understand. And anyone that gives me grief over it? Well, they’re not worth it to me. My wife is the most important person in my life. Always has been.
She said:  That was probably my biggest fear going into this weekend. Would we look selfish by shutting the rest of the world out? But now? I realize one thing. I don’t need to apologize for putting our relationship first. But I do need to apologize (and I have) to my husband for not putting him first more in the last few months. I adore him. I’m totally head-over-heels in love with him. He deserves to sense that every single day. Not just when I’m unplugged from the world. Note to self: adore your husband everyday. And show him that.

We needed this.
He said: I can’t believe how surprised Jess was when she saw the joy on my face when our unplugged weekend started on Friday night. I knew we needed this. I think I proved to Jess that going unplugged wasn’t as hard as she initially thought and I look forward to many more unplugged weekends – whether it’s a weekend away, a romantic dinner at home or a picnic in the living room. As long as it’s just me and Jess? I don’t really care what we do. 
She said: We really needed this. I didn’t realize how much we needed this until that clock hit 5pm on Friday night and Scott practically jumped out of his skin with excitement. I was finally free from distraction. Focused on him. On us. It’s been far too long since we did that last.

Long story short? We highly recommend this to all of you. Please. Just try it for one weekend…or even one night. We can pretty much guarantee your eyes will be opened to a whole new world. A world that was sitting right in front of you the entire time. You were just too distracted to notice. 

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33 thoughts on “Unplugged: the things (we) learned

    • I totally need to do that more often – cannot believe we let it get so bad that a disconnected weekend seemed like such a foreign thought before. Now I want to do it much more regularly, like you guys do!

  1. aww! I love this sis (and Scott!). I can’t believe you actually thought we would think it was selfish. absolutely not. I am glad you prioritized you for once. We all need to sometimes and don’t, far more often than we think.

    • I know – silly of me to think anyone would judge me or think I was being self-centered for choosing to put us first for a change. It won’t happen again, I can guarantee that! This was such an eye-opening experience. Loved every single second.

  2. Love, love, love!!!!! I’m so happy that you got so much out of it. And I LOVE that you noticed his facial expressions & reactions to things. Did it provide you little glimpses/reminders of when you first started dating? When Eric and I unplug on the weekends I’m always reminded of when we first started dating. We vowed we would always “court” each other.

    • YES! You are so right. A lot of this weekend felt like we were “courting” eachother which we try to do, even all these years later – but have gotten lax about it, clearly. I felt like we were a brand new couple in that head-over-heels phase at the start of a relationship. But instead, it’s almost 8 years into our marriage and I’m even MORE in love with him today than on our wedding day. It’s the best feeling. <3 LOVE that you two court eachother too, so important!!

  3. This is maybe the sweetest post that I have ever read! Loved the ‘his’ and ‘hers’ take on the weekend. Joe keeps asking me what I want for Christmas and I going to tell him a weekend of just the two of us – unplugged!

    • AW!! You are so sweet, friend. Thank you. We both wrote from the heart in this post – the words just flowed. I wanted to make sure we captured it so we’d never forget this weekend, and that feeling where the only “world” that matters is our world.

      I think you two should definitely go unplugged for a weekend – I promise you, you’ll love it!

    • What a great time of year to go unplugged – totally focusing on family and loved ones during the holidays is so worth the disconnection from this little “world” of ours online, isn’t it?

  4. “A world that was sitting right in front of you the entire time.” It’s crazy to think how often I’m walking around this city just texting, tweeting, answering e-mails etc. Suddenly I’ll be at my destination and have missed the entire walk.

    I love this idea, too. Way too many hours are wasted playing with technology (guilty!), and I really hope that eventually it all comes full circle and we realize life is okay without something electronic taped to our hands, ears & eyes.

    • YES, yes, yes!! It’s amazing how the world around you, your own little world, can get so lost when we let such distractions overtake us like that. Why not put down that phone and just enjoy the walk and everything around you versus staring blindly at the screen, texting and emailing away? It’s crazy how normal that has become vs. simply walking to your intended destination like we “used to do” back in the day. I’d love it if we all came full circle on this one!

    • EXACTLY! It felt weird on Friday night for about an hour. I kept wondering where my phone was. And then suddenly it dawned on me. WHO CARES where my phone is. Get in that moment and stay there, I thought. And that’s what I did. And it was wonderful.

  5. I love this so much! Thanks for getting the he-said side of things, too. I know Billy and I are far TOO connected to our iPhones and laptops. I love it when we are out to dinner away from home – no TV, no iPhones and a bottle of wine! :)

    • I’d love a he said/she said post from you guys, I think it would be so sweet, I love your relationship!! I also love your idea of a date night, sounds like my speed (and Scott’s!), totally!!

  6. Awesome! Love this so much. And I started thinking back to a time before smartphones, blogging, laptops. I remember enjoying more. I have actually started to get really freaking annoyed in the evenings when I hear my phone going off for a text or if I have an email. I think in some ways that’s a good sign b/c I realize I’m too connected. I’ve started shutting that darn laptop down a lot earlier too and keep it off while watching a movie together.

    • I’m really glad you’ve been disconnecting more and more! I swear, it’s good for the soul! I’ve also been trying to call my friends more vs texting them (such a bad habit!).

  7. Great reflection!
    It’s interesting how easily we can forget these insights, but how awesome that it just takes a little “unplugging” to remember!
    Glad you got the chance to, and thanks for reminding everyone else too :)

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