A food evolution ‘moment’

So I’ve been waiting for that spark to return…y’know the one I’m talking about: that blogging spark. The inspiration to jot down my thoughts on my own little corner of the Internet. Something I haven’t done in over a week. And quite honestly, something I thought might never return: the spark.

But alas — it’s back, after a really, REALLY great break from the plugged-in world, being as present as possible.
…and loving every last second of it.

And it was during that unplugged time that I hit a pretty big breakthrough, personally. A food evolution ‘moment’ of sorts.
…ironically it happened during one of the biggest eating holidays of the year: Thanksgiving.

I’ve made it no secret that I’ve not always had the best relationship with food. I’ve battled my fair share of emotional moments with food, of that up-and-down ‘being good’ during the week only to blow it WAY out of the water on the weekends, because I felt justified after restricting myself all week long. It wasn’t until I started my personal barre n9ne journey last May that things really changed for me. I started logging food (and still do). I started to make that connection between hunger cues versus mindless munching cues. But most of all, I started to gravitate more and more towards fueling foods — lots of whole foods, real, nourishing, naturally grown foods. And it wasn’t until recently that I came to the conclusion that I’d finally learned how to be an intuitive eater. Sort of the be-all-end-all (for me at least) — learning to listen to my body, feeding it when it’s hungry, skipping the munching if it’s not hungry. And learning when to stop eating, what my portions should look (and FEEL) like, etc.

But this weekend I hit on something else: I recognized that my body now fully knows and LOVES the ‘number’ I feed it every single day. It’s become second nature. Even on a huuuuuge eating holiday like Thanksgiving I still managed to feed my body in a way that was still VERY satisfying (hello two kinds of stuffing on Thanksgiving, yes please!! my biggest weakness…), without stuffing (no pun intended) myself silly, or filling it with empty calories (like bread, crackers, fillers like that). I didn’t even have to think about it, or get anxious that there would be too many temptations and I’d never be able to resist, quickly falling back into old habits (i.e. ‘it’s the holidays,  you ‘deserve’ to eat everything in sight’).

The best part though? Not that I stuck to my guns and I’m sitting here patting myself on the back for it, but that after all this time, it finally feels fairly effortless — truly intuitive, and mindful (something my sister just touched on over at the barre n9ne blog, actually). Sure, I COULD have gone for seconds of stuffing, or had a bigger piece of chocolate cake for dessert (you guys, my mom’s boyfriend makes an UNREAL super-stacked chocolate cake with the most delicious vanilla frosting…I had to go for the cake vs. the pie, just HAD to). But I didn’t want to…nor did my body scream: feed meeee. It was satisfied. 

And that’s the big difference here: I’m satisfied — mind, body and soul. No anxiety, no fear that I’ll slide back into old bad habits, no worry that I wasn’t perfect.’ I’m finally at a point where I can ‘just be.’

Even though I view healthy, intuitive eating as a continuous journey through and through — this past weekend was certainly a pretty awesome breakthrough for me and although it took me a few days to process that, I’m celebrating it now. I think we all ought to celebrate our personal journeys and successes even more openly than we all probably do right now. I don’t look at it as showing off or vanity or anything, I view it as a positive reminder to ALL of us that you can do and be whoever you want to be if you want it badly enough. And guess what? You may surprise yourself and realize that who you wanted to be all along was right there the whole time, just itching to peek out if you gave her the right tools to do so.

So go on — celebrate your successes, big or small,  I’m listening. ;-)

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36 thoughts on “A food evolution ‘moment’

    • YAY for smiles!!
      You’ve been a huge inspiration to me on the whole intuitive thing, I love how your mind works and love how it works as it relates to intuitive eating but just living intuitively in general. You are just awesome.

  1. this is so awesome Jess. It’s like your body and mind are connecting effortlessly now. I think holidays should be stress free with eating. Craving the amount you want when you want. Who said you needed to pass up the cake? You don’t have to, but you don’t have to eat it all in on sitting. Have it when you have ROOM to crave it. Listen, love, nourish, repeat. What an encouraging post friend. cheers!

    • EXACTLY right. I love this mantra: listen, love, nourish, repeat. Can I get a tattoo of that on my forehead please?? hehe

      PS Love your thoughts on the whole cake thing — so true: wait until you have room to enjoy the yummies and then enjoy it, move on and be happy with your choice.

  2. Congrats, Jess!!! That is amazing! So happy that you have found a place where you are comfortable – and one that’s effortless…that’s the best part!!!!
    It’s a huge achievement!! Xoxo

    • Thank you so much my friend! It is a huge achievement and I’m proud to share that here. And hell, if it helps someone ELSE get there over time too? I’m all for sharing as much of my journey as I can.

  3. That’s awesome, what a huge step! I agree that our journey to health is never complete but I have felt really good with my food relationship lately. It’s funny how sometimes it just clicks.

  4. Ah, way to rock it. It’s beautiful of you to open up to us about your journey, one many struggle with in some capacity.

    You’re proof that hard work, focus, determination pay off.

    Here’s to your celebration – amazing work, Jess!

    • Thank you friend…I try to be as honest and open as I can on the blog, never sugar coating when things are tough, but proving that even if it’s tough, it’s usually ALWAYS worth it in the end.

  5. Yay! I’m pretty much there too. I can still go off the deep end once in a while, but being mindful and indulging without overdoing are becoming more natural.

  6. I SO agree. Obviously we had the same ephipany over the weekend. It’s just so WEIRD. I used to get anxious ‘going logless’ or thinking about a day when I’d feel comfortable doing so. but I do now. My body knows it. I know it. I am satisfied with everything I eat. It’s truly the best feeling, isn’t it?! GO US! :)

    • Isn’t it great that the body just KNOWS now? That ick full feeling will never happen again because hell, our bodies don’t like the way it feels so it will never allow us to go there again. I LOVE that we’ve gotten there together, such an incredible journey to share with you :)

  7. Satisfied – mind, body and soul << kind of perfect that it all happened on Thanksgiving, no? Love this and how far you've come and how it's become second nature. I know how much hard work it has taken. PS happy to see you back but also glad that you had time to unplug and be present.

    • So perfect that it happened on Thanksgiving, ironically so, right??

      PS thank you for sticking around, I know I’ve been rather hit or miss lately and I appreciate you coming back around despite that!!!

  8. Congrats Jess! That is truly amazing. I have tried, and failed, at food logging so many times it’s pretty absurd. I’ve gotten pretty good at hunger cues now though – especially given my hours vary so much from day to day, I can’t eat at the same time every day, I really REALLY have to listen to the old body.

    And apparently it’s working because I lost 1.5 pounds OVER THANKSGIVING WEEKEND! :-)

    • Hey, for some people — food logging is just not the way to go for a whole SLEW of reasons, you just have to find what works best for you. For me, it’s been the one-two punch I’ve needed to find my way to mindful, intuitive eating. It’s been a long road but totally worth it for me to be here, at last. And loving every minute of it. :)

    • Oh totally agree — enjoy the food, the flavors, the work you put into making that food taste so good, and take the time to respect mealtime more. It’s so easy to rush through it just like everything ELSE in life instead of taking the time to enjoy it, the whole experience of it. Because let’s be honest, food involves great experiences and memories, right?

  9. Awww love this! My spark has been in and out lately, but I guess maybe it’s the time of year? :)

    I’m so proud of you with how far you have come with your relationship with food. I honestly think all women have a screwed up relationship with food and it takes a long time and a lot of hard work to get to a place where you feel this comfortable.

    • I’m glad I’m not the only one with spark issues lately ;-)

      Thank you friend, I’m pretty proud too — and not in a show-off-y way but in a damn, this has been a long road but it’s been an awesome and worth-it road to get to this spot, to finally feel comfortable, at peace, and intuitive. SUCH a great place to be.

  10. Great post! I’m a food logger and I do it for just this reason. It has taught me so much about how to fuel my body properly. I have the opposite problem of most people…I could live on salad and fruit. While this is good, it’s not complete proper fuel, especially for someone that works out like I do. I have really done an over haul on my diet lately by incorporating more protein and more fats…I feel incredible. I also feel more recovered from my workouts and more energized! I love that things are now gelled and I feel fueled and ready for each day!

    • Ohhh I had no idea you were a fellow food logger like me! So interesting as to why you’ve chosen to log — it just goes to show that everyone has a different approach or need and yours is a very smart need: to fuel yourself BETTER, especially with all the workouts and now running you do. I LOVE how it’s helped you feel more energized, strong and fueled, that’s what it’s all about right??

  11. Hey you. <3

    I'm having that "spark" issue recently. But I think I'll have some stuff to share next week.

    I love that you've had this moment…it's a tough moment to have, you know? Meaning, it's so hard to reach. Oddly, I didn't fill up on "fillers" this year either. And I had one plate of food. That's not "normal" (eh hem…normal being the past tense I suppose) for me. To be honest with you, now that I think of it, I haven't been craving sugar at all. Weird. (Sorry, having a moment here.)

    I think what I love most about this post is that it's not unrealistic. You're not over here saying anything about how you have suddenly become some superstar eater. You're not talking about counting calories or being restrictive or anything like that. You've made it clear with everyone here that it's NOT about a quick fix or a "diet". It's about a slow, progressive SUCCESSFUL change.

    Love you and the positive, wholesome, realistic example you set. <3

    • Hey you back! <3 I've missed you, your comments always make me SO happy to read. Especially when they involve personal victories like these — you are awesome. You've come so far even since I've 'known' you and I just love that. You're always inspiring me to aim higher, you know that? I LOVE all the change in your life right now, I'm sure its a little bit too chaotic at times for your liking, but it's all for good reason, you're doing some pretty awesome stuff up in there. I love that.

      And thank you for your kind words — I try so hard to show my journey as real as possible because it is NOT about a quick fix or a diet, it's about a lifestyle change, a forever thing that you can live with and love and make your own, intuitively as often as possible.
      xo!

  12. kudos to you my friend! It takes a lot of listerning to really get in touch with your bodyafter years of not knowing what that even means! I’ve been there for awhile and like you said, it’s awesome not having those thoughts of anxiety before the holidays, knowing you will be able to maintain your weight no matter what foods are presented!! It’s slightly different trying LOSE weight while listening (bc I got SO good at maintaining), but I’m figuring it out! Feels good!

    • Such a great perspective and point my friend. once you’ve been in maintenance mode for awhile and have gotten REALLY good at listening, it is such a switch to be listening when in weight LOSS mode. I am consistently impressed with your commitment and perserverance, I know it’s not easy!

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