Please reset.

You know how sometimes you see the ‘please reset’ button on your hairdryer and have to go through the rigamarole of pushing that little button in at the *exact* right time and angle so when you plug it in, it actually resets and doesn’t just sit there lifeless on your bathroom counter?

Well that’s kind of how I feel right now — in need of a reset

I kind of feel like that hairdryer – sometimes it takes a few tries before the reset actually works. You know the drill — you think you pushed that button just right and plug it in and then: nothing. So you try again — and nothing. And after the third or fourth time, you finally figure it out and the ‘reset’ actually sticks. (this can be the most obnoxious process, am I right ladies??)

I was doing so well with ‘just being’ me. 

With learning to disconnect more to reconnect. 

With being present. #present2013

With letting go of perfection and striving for excellence. 

With seeking out silver linings vs. harping on the little things that frustrate you but are out of your control. 

But just like any habit, sometimes it’s hard to truly kick the habit without concerted effort and (for lack of a better word) practice.

So what’s my ‘please reset’ plan look like? It’s quite simple – it’s about getting back to basics. I’m going to use this long weekend to reconnect with friends and family, to let my mind go and just be, to stop stop stop vs. go go going, and to focus on excellence above all else…not perfection.

This is a toughie for me — I’m not great at admitting faults or weaknesses or flaws or imperfections and I’m *really* not too great at letting go of perfection and my Type-A-ness. I know, I know. I’m too hard on myself. I know this. BUT — I have gotten *so* much better at letting go more, I really have. I’ve just gotten out of the habit and it’s time to reign it in before the spiral happens (and we all know what that spiral looks like – ala ‘chill the eff out’ remember that?). 

So anyway — this post was really more for me to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper. Sometimes blogging it out (and/or blabbing Scott’s ear off incessantly) is the only way to gain clarity. And clarity is exactly what I needed today.

Reset: let’s go. 

On “found” time

So this past weekend didn’t go as originally planned. You see, I was all set to spend a good 8 hours at barre n9ne in training for Pound – Rockout Workout, a training that was *supposed* to happen this winter but a certain blizzard kinda interfered. But after last week’s events, it proved not to be the safest of times to be traveling into Boston for our friends at Pound, so alas, training didn’t happen afterall.

…which lead to a whole bunch of  “found” time on Saturday. 

Both of my usual Saturday morning classes at barre n9ne were already subbed out. I was supposed to be training for Pound, afterall. So just like that — my Saturday was a clean slate, with absolutely no schedule, no agenda, no plans whatsoever.

The ‘old’ me would’ve whipped out my to-do list…or started an entirely fresh to-do list, and gone to town. You see, I think I’ve done a good bit of changing the past 8 months or so — I suddenly remembered this post: the one where I told myself to chill the eff out. And I remembered how anxious and upset I felt, how all up in my head with mind crazies galore I felt, how utterly strained and unhappy I felt. And I remembered how much I did *not* want to return to that ‘self’ again.

So lo and behold — Saturday became a free-for-all, a day where suddenly ‘found’ time became fun time versus productive time. 

It started with an awesome, but very challenging, run with the hubs. #TeamSutera reunited once again to tackle one of our favorite ‘long’ running routes from our very first half marathon training almost 4 years ago. The route is about 20 mins from our house so we drove to the starting point and parked our car — this after sleeping in, awaking to *no* alarm clock, something that happens very rarely at the Sutera Manor these days — and off we went.

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We chugged along and man, it felt a lot more challenging…but in a very good, very ‘worked’ way, a way my body needed to feel. I admit that I battled my head a little bit at first, getting super frustrated that the run wasn’t one of those easy-breezy-could-run-forever runs. But then I remembered that sometimes you gotta work extra hard for the miles and let your body work. And after I gave myself that gut check reminder pep talk, I felt much better and chugged side-by-side with Scott.

It turned out to be an incredible run.

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I think our smiles say it all — it was one of those cleansing, refreshing, replenishing runs. I think all of the emotion of the week needed to escape and the miles were our escape route. We ran along freshly-rained-on pavement and all around us it just felt clean, fresh and new. All of us in Boston needed that ‘fresh and new’ feeling, I do believe. And we got it on Friday night and into Saturday morning in more ways than one. (SO glad both bombers are no longer roaming the streets of Boston…so, so glad. 

Other than that run? Scott and I spent some time pitter-pattering (this is SO a “Scott” word haha) around the house before we stopped to watch the opener of the Bruins and then the Red Sox games…and watching both ceremonies where the city paid tribute to the victims of the Boston Marathon tragedy but also the heroes, I cried. And cried. I couldn’t be more proud of this city, of Boston, our home. <3

After wiping away those tears, we decided it was time to get out of the house for a bit. We wound up at one of our newfound favorite spots for an afternoon drink. They have ample seating at the bar and lots of TVs to watch the various Boston sporting events — and the pours there? They are generous to say the least, ha. ;-)

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It was an awesome break from reality — we chit chatted with our fellow bar-mates, and I even saw my boss there which was kinda funny. But mostly, we just took the time to get away from normalcy, using the ‘found’ time we had on our hands for fun, carefree time together.

So what’s my point here? (other than to blab on and on about how fabulous our Saturday wound up being??)

“Found” time is a gift. Use it wisely.

As recent events have shown us, life is so short, so fleeting and such a blessing. Live every single second of it. My vote? Let’s live a little more like the sentiment behind this Dove Promise message, hmm?

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Little, simple things.

Given all that’s happened this week, I’ve been struggling (like so many of you) to find peace among the sadness.
…the one thing that has given me some semblance of comfort this week? Little, simple things.

Like running with Scott, reuniting as #teamsutera on a few occasions this week (he’s on April vacation from work so I am taking full advantage of our ability for rundates!), including on Tuesday morning where we ran for Boston, as part of the “Runners Unite” movement that swept Facebook on Monday night.

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Even something as simple as opening up a Dove promise to find this message hiding inside:

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Fabulous *and* flawed — amen, amen, amen. <—Please, please, please remember this the next time you mentally berate yourself, or slip away from self-love and into self-hate, or any other form of self-doubt or mind crazies. I need this reminder as much as anyone else. We are *all* fabulous and flawed and that’s what makes us unique, beautiful wonderful people.

Now, I wouldn’t call this next one a ‘little’ thing so much — but my husband, the man I adore and love and cherish more than anything else on this earth, well — he sure knows how to shower me with love and affection. And this time, the man outdid himself. These showed up at my door yesterday when I got home from work:

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Apparently, Scott spied over my shoulder while I was ogling these beautiful Tieks online over the weekend and took it upon himself to go back and order me a pair (knowing full well I would never spend that kind of money on shoes myself). Seriously? Can I keep him please?? <3

And finally – the simplicity of a long walk on ‘date night’ which is always Wednesday night for us. The one night during the week that neither of us is busy. We cherish that night together. And normally, that night involves a great meal, a couple of glasses of wine and a movie or a catch-up-on-DVR night. But last night? Last night was different. We opted for a long walk after dinner — to a local frozen yogurt spot for a sweet treat. We wound up walking over 10k steps or a little over 5 miles. And we just talked. And talked. And talked. About the Boston marathon tragedy. About the possibility (or not) of running another marathon. About random little things we noticed along the way — like the big dipper in the dark night sky while walking home. Or how the crickets sounded while we made our way back to our house along our favorite running route. There were no distractions. No tv’s with news stations sharing more sad stories. No iPhones with text alerts and Facebook updates. Not even a picture to commemorate the occasion. Just us. And it was perfect.

Little, simple things. #needed

Remembering capabilities.

There’s something I’ve been mulling over the last couple of days.

Remembering capabilities. 

I started thinking about it during that solo run I took on Friday after teaching and continued thinking about it while teaching on Saturday and again while running with Scott on Sunday morning. (yayyy #teamsutera!)

My mind was whirring away while running this weekend — thinking about a few things. About how challenging both runs felt — man, running on the treadmill is just NOT the same as running outside. My body made sure to remind me of that this weekend. But that’s the thing — my body is capable of running whatever I want it to run, I just have to let it. Not get freaked out that my mileage is way down, or my endurance isn’t where it used to be, or whatever. Just simply remembering capabilities. This body carried me all 26.2 miles not too long ago — it can sure as hell get through the transition from winter/dreadmill running to spring/summer outdoor running, that’s for sure.

I also thought about capabilities as it relates to all forms of fitness.

…Of my husband pushing himself to work harder at Crossfit, to improve his strength and flexibility and endurance. Of figuring out just what his body is truly capable of — and then pushing for me. Something he’s been doing an awesome job of (proud wifey alert!).

…Of our clients at barre n9ne — who step up to that barre at all times of day or night and push themselves. To work harder, get lower, shake more. I can almost see it in some of them as they work through class — that moment when they think they can’t possibly hold onto the set any longer. I see them squeeze their eyes shut, and either push through or they literally hesitate when I say ‘push lower’ or ‘hang on, you are almost there.’ And it’s that moment between hesitation and remembering capabilities and pushing for it, that I LOVE to see so much in our clients. That moment where they allow the shake at the barre, they embrace it and just go for it. It makes my day when I see a client who maybe hasn’t gotten to that ‘shake point’ before, finally connect with their body in a new way and right before their eyes and mine, they are shaking away, working through that set, relying on their body and remembering their capabilities.

And finally, I’ve been thinking about capabilities as it relates to life in general.

Trusting yourself to go for it, whatever ‘it’ might be. Remembering that your path is set in front of you, yours for the taking, it’s just up to you whether or not you follow that path and truly go for it. And that’s sort of how I’m feeling lately — that this path of mine is shaping up quite beautifully and I guess I can’t say it enough — things are just good right now. And I know that kind of makes for some boring blog posts from me (a lot of the same theme!) but it’s all I got right now — life, my path, our path, kind of great.

And I know that partly has to do with remembering that I’m capable of creating the life that I want to live, my best life right now. Kind of a neat thing to put into words huh? Living your best life now, the one that yes, *you* are capable of living. 

So my advice to get there — to that best life now? Embrace that moment between hesitation and remembering capabilities — and go for it. Do not hesitate. Trust. And just go.

#FitFriday ruminations

#FitFriday ruminations…

Accountability is awesome.

(this would be me both pre-class and contemplating a post-class run and then me after class and after crushing my first solo run in a long time!)

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I talk about accountability a lot, I know. But truly — sometimes it just takes the simplest of actions to truly commit to your intentions — workout related or otherwise. I have to give mad props — yet again — to the barre n9ne community, this group of ladies is nothing short of inspiring and hard working and SO SO committed. Not just to their barre-volutions (you should *see* their transformations — a post for another day…but seriously unreal) but also to their cardio health, too. We have a fun little group of barre n9ne-rs who are part of the ‘barre to 5k’ group Jolene and I launched with Tanya last year. The group started as a way to help clients who wanted to go from walking to running but needed a little support to get there. Today, this group has evolved into one giant cheering squad. Constant words of encouragement and virtual high fives are the norm in this group. And a biggie — the accountability thing. We’ll routinely schedule #b9virtualrundates — reporting back with our progress, post-run. And do you know how hard it is to skip a workout if you’ve *just* told a bunch of ladies that you’d be ‘out there virtually’ at xx time, the next morning? You better damn well believe I’d never miss that run after all that. And the same is true for anyone in this group — you shout it loud and proud, you commit, and you get ‘er done. And then be prepared for an onslaught of “nice job!’ and “way to go’ and “rock on!’ that will come your way, post-run. LOVE. <3

Compliments, while simple in theory, can leave a lasting impact. Case in point:

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That would be a love note my husband left for me on my container of almond milk in the fridge for me to find this morning. I literally laughed out loud when I read what he wrote. (I may have also blushed.) But really? It reminded me that a simple compliment can mean the world. In this case, it reminded me that my husband happens to love me very much and finds me to be pretty cute. How lucky am I?? It also reminds me that I need to be more diligent of complimenting him — as I’ve said before, I have a hard time accepting compliments, especially from my husband. BUT — I’ve been working on it. By not accepting his compliments gracefully, I’m sort of throwing his words back at him in a way, pushing him away instead of pulling him in. So I’ve gotten better at it with time — and I’ve been focusing more on paying *him* compliments back. Especially now that he’s so into Crossfit, my husband is a hottie. ;-)

And finally – paying it forward is by far the most gratifying feeling in the world:

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I came to the studio on Thursday morning to teach my usual 6am toned, firm, fit and ready class and found not one, not two, but three gifts waiting for me at the studio. From clients who have been working their bums off to get fit and healthy for life. And they wanted to thank me and barre n9ne for helping them get there. Wow. Just wow. The sheer fact that I have an impact on anyone to get more fit and healthy (and happy!) is a beautiful thing. I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to use my own barre journey as a means of helping others chase their own fit dreams — teaching is my way of paying it forward and I can’t say it enough: I teach with gratitude. Every single day.

So that’s that — my #FitFriday ruminations. I’m in a very happy place today and really hope you all are too. :-)

The #presence2013 project: conclusions

So today is Easter. Which signifies a million things today, of course.
…but in #teamsutera land, today signifies the conclusion to the #presence2013 project.

But here’s the thing — I don’t want it to end. The past 40+ days have opened my eyes to a whole new world. A world that was staring back at me this entire time — I was just too damn distracted to fully see it.

I mean, just typing those words makes my heart a little bit sad. I have a great, fabulous, wonderful life — am married to my best friend, a guy I adore more than words could ever describe; I have a beautiful, small circle of friends who I would trust with my life, and two amazing sisters who I don’t spend nearly enough time with.

So when I think back to how much time has been wasted by, what, connections? Being uber plugged-in all the time?
…it’s just…enough.

And that’s my conclusion — something I’m thinking about a lot tonight as I sit with my husband on the couch, savoring a glass (or two!) of wine after a fabulous Easter brunch with my in-laws. It’s just enough.

I’m not really even sure what ‘enough’ means — I just know that I’m ready to continually embrace presence. To embrace and love this life I am so blessed to be living. With utter abandon.

…because presence is just too important. And this past 40 days has proven to me that presence is joy. It’s made even the simplest of moments 1000x better because I was fully in the moment. So I guess that’s my conclusion…even though I might not have the right words to describe it, or fully define what it means to me. I just feel it. I sense it. And I want to live it.

Presence is joy. #thatisall

presence

Life is good.

Life is good. 

Seriously, in the grand scheme of things, life is damn good actually. And I think it’s worth jotting those happy thoughts down now and then. If not as just a personal note to self the next time I go down the wahhhbulance rat hole that I know I’m prone to face-planting stumbling into now and then.

And truly, nothing too earth-shattering here, just lots of fun little silver linings lately. Or little things. So I’m gonna go ahead and celebrate them, in pictures.

New haircuts — they make me smile. This is a shorter cut for me (you can’t altogether tell from the pic, but this is what I was aiming for) — and I’m diggin’ it, big time. (hi, blow drying my hair in under ten minutes, I’ll take it!!)

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Unexpected dreadmill highs — and a speedy (for me) 5k “PR” (if you can call it a “PR” on the dreadmill!). After my Wednesday morning fitdate at the barre, I told my friend and one of the clients who was standing nearby that I was going home to run a quick 5k before getting ready for work. I said it loud and proud because I knew if I didn’t, I’d be prone to skipping the run entirely. BUT, because I proclaimed it out loud before I left the studio, I felt accountable and I’m glad I stuck to my guns. This was a surprisingly fast and fun 5k and it made me feel like a total rockstar all morning. A ‘me’ fitdate, double-style– I’ll take it! #fitgeek

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Teaching a 90 minute b9 intensive at the studio – and nailing it — made me SO SO proud and happy on Saturday. The b9 intensive is designed to be our most challenging class (clients must take at least 20 regular classes before taking one of our intensives) and is also meant to help clients get more out of their workouts, focusing on form and finding that mind/body connection. I was *really* excited to teach this class. I came up with what I thought was a pretty killer 90 minute line-up (and accompanying playlist!), filled with my most favorite upper body exercises, lots of planks and pushup series, and a really fun barre/mat combo session to work lower body. Oh and smabs, can’t forget smabs (a part of my body I never thought I’d learn to love to work, but whatdya know, I actually DO love working smabs now!). It was killer. Every client in that room worked their bums off, showing such dedication to the barre, it was just awesome. They absolutely crushed it. It was definitely THE most fun I’ve had at the barre to date. And after teaching the 90 minute class (plus a one-hour class before that), I was exhausted, starving and ready for a shower (didn’t even take a selfie after class, who am I??). So, I felt it was more than appropriate that I try out a coffee shop near the studio (Daily Harvest) that has great iced coffee flavors but somehow, I had yet to get there (which is shocking given how much I love coffee!). So this bad boy turned out to be a much deserved treat — a snickerdoodle flavored iced coffee with a splash of milk. Deeeelish. #earnedit

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Annnnnd finally — after ELEVEN rounds of ‘rummy wars’ with the hubs — I won a round of 25 (we play until someone wins 25 rounds and then the winner picks the losers ‘punishment’ so to speak). The hubs was not entirely pleased by this turn of events, but seriously, the guy won eleven rounds before I finally won one, I think I’ve waited long enough. ;-)

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I betcha you’re wondering what his ‘punishment’ is for my win, hmm? Well, I’m sure you won’t be surprised when you see my choice:

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(note the win above my win, Scott is really looking forward to cashing in on that one — to see me squirm for an entire day where I have no control over plans or even any visibility into what our plans are? Ack, Type-A in me is screaming for mercy already, hehe)

Ha!! I can’t wait for this — he’s in for a world of hurt, I can guarantee him that much. But all in a hurts-so-good way I promise (kinda). ;-)

Soooo now it’s your turn, what’s making your life good right now? BIg or small, there’s always a silver lining if you look hard enough for it.

Powerful and spring-y

I’m titling this post ‘Powerful and spring-y’ which might sound kind of like an oxymoron, but I promise it’ll all make sense by the end. Hopefully. ;-)

So first up — the powerful part of the equation.

As in a powerful run. Powerful on many levels.

powerful in how it reconnected Scott and I (aka long-lost #teamsutera). Even though we barely spoke a word.

powerful in how present I felt during the run. Present in each and every step I took, present in taking in my surroundings, present in listening to Scott’s even breathing next to me, silently pushing us both along. #presence2013 is a beautiful thing. (more of an update on this project of ours in a future post…)

powerful in how my legs felt pushing up and down the hills on our *favorite* 7-miler rundate route.

powerful in the rush of memories that came flooding back during that 7-mile route we circled. It’s the same route we doubled and tripled and nearly quadrupled during Chicago marathon training. Memories. <3

powerful in the incredible HIGH it gave us both. The rush of the cool, fresh air breezing past our faces. The strength we both felt in our legs, and in our speed. And the incredible DOMS we both felt the next day (and are sure to feel even more tomorrow…I’m a two-day-later kind of girl).

powerful in the JOY it brought us both when all was said and done. As evidenced by our GIANT (albeit sweaty) smiles. <3

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Now, for the spring-y part.

spring-y as in the antsy pants I now have for spring to actually arrive. We went from blizzard conditions on Friday to sunshine and 50 degrees on Monday. Kinda makes me crazy, for SPRING. I love it so. <3

spring-y as in the joy I already feel for the mere opportunity for many more of those powerful runs like I described from Sunday. Those reconnecting, rejuvinating and energizing runs. Trying so very hard to be patient…patience pants don’t suit me so well. ;-)

spring-y and the absolute geeked-out high I get from trying out new fitgear at the studio during three-fer Monday that put a big ‘ol spring in my step as I set foot into the studio I love so very much. You see, sometimes *all* it takes to get me going on an early-start Monday (especially after the daylight savings time change the night before!), is a new outfit. Yup, I’m easy to please. And yup, I’m a giant #luluhoarder. But I won’t apologize for that part. I am who I am. Take me or leave me. ;-P

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Soooooo, that’s all I got after a very long start to my week — but doing what I love most of all, and with that extra spring in my step totally helped matters. So is the glass of wine I’m savoring the heck out of as I type this. (note: blogging with wine is something I need to do more often. #noted.). Happppy (powerful and spring-y) Monday, friends! 

Compliments.

This has been whirring about in the back of my mind a lot lately….

Compliments.

Giving them.

Receiving them.

Spreading the love.

Compliments – in my view – are similar to a giant bear hug.

And I think we should give them out even more freely.
…not to mention receive them as graciously as we can, and as freely as we can.

It dawned on me after seeing a string of super-cute comments and ‘likes’ on a pic I quickly instagrammed yesterday morning after a sweatastic run (more on that run in a sec).

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And it made me smile – not just the ‘likes’ on the pic which are always fun and I love seeing them, but the compliments or shouts of support or encouragement.
…like a giant bear hug.
And it got me thinking – why don’t we do that even MORE with one another?  I mean, what does paying someone a compliment take – two seconds?
…and you never know what that two seconds meant to the person receiving the compliment.

It could be the ray of sunshine on an otherwise dreary or bummed-out day.

Or the boost of confidence needed to hold their head high as they walk into an important meeting at work.

And a motivator to keep on keepin’ on.

So today, which just so happens to be Valentine’s Day (total coincidence, I swear!), I’m making a vow to make an effort to reach out more, pay more compliments to friends and loved ones and even strangers, and yes, to work on graciously receiving compliments too. (I noticed I have a horrible habit of *really* brushing off compliments when they come from my husband, and I have no idea why. I picked up on it during our snowed-in weekend actually. Got me thinking…)

So lovelies — will you join me on this mission? 

*****

In other news? My run yesterday was awesome. Another surprising one for me. I’ve had this weird ‘crick’ in my neck for a couple of days so I skipped my run on Tuesday (er, postponed it – to later this week…#accountability) to avoid too much jostling and potential further injury.

But Wednesday rolled around and my neck was still a little sore but not nearly as achy as before. So I went with it – promising myself I’d hop off the ‘mill if my neck bugged me. And part of me kind of expected that to happen. But alas, my neck behaved and off I went. After an hour-long episode on-demand of “Castle” (really good show btw) was over, I looked down at the display on my treadmill (I cover it up for the entire run, upping the speed as needed, but never looking at time or distance until I’m done) and I was shocked to see: 6.98 miles. I happily sprinted the final .02 miles and was SO excited to see that I’d fairly easily hit 7 miles before 7am. I was sweaty, happy, run-high and ready to get a move on the day.

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I’m constantly amazed at the evolution my running continues to take. Since being out of training mode for months now, my running has been on my time, my terms and practically every single run has surprised me – in a good way. My love affair with running is still very much intact, despite how loose and ‘free’ my running has been of late. Kinda neat, if I do say so myself. <3

Patterns: a progress report

So apparently, it took a big ‘ol b*tch slap from Mother Nature to get me to truly step back and re-asses those patterns I talked about last week. You might remember that post — the one where I admit that I struggle to let go, to allow myself chill time, to turn off the go-go-go mentality I have.

Welp — this happened over the weekend:

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Yup, totally snowed in from about noon on Friday until 4pm on Sunday when I broke free to teach a barre n9ne class (we wound up adding a few to the schedule on Sunday since we had to cancel Friday night and all Saturday classes.)

Once I heard the forecast for the blizzard, two things happened: first — I laughed at God’s sense of humor. Does He know how to force my hand or what? And then — I promised myself and my sister (and the hubs!) that I’d vow to DO LESS this weekend. To stop focusing on filling up all the free time I was suddenly granted with, and to start focusing on letting go and just being. Afterall, my weekend was originally going to be quite different had the storm not clobbered us. I had a full morning of classes at the studio planned for Saturday, a night out with friends on Saturday night and then a FULL DAY of training for Pound on Sunday (at a studio an hour-and-a-half away). So when I wound up not having ANY of those plans on my plate? You can imagine the internal battle that was *thisclose* to going off in my head.

But, I’m proud of myself, actually. I pushed down the urge to do all of the “need to do” items on my mental check list and focused on the “want to do” items, instead.

Like a pedicure with my sis, pre-blizzard on Friday (I took Friday off from work, originally to get sh*t done since I was feeling so stressy last week…again, can anyone else see God’s humor here?). Because pre-blizzard pedicures are *such* a necessity, am I right?? ;-)

Like snuggling under blankets with Scott with a drink in hand (yep, ‘day’ drinking at it’s finest!), and reading a new book I picked up on Friday before the snow picked up.

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Like playing in the snow like a bunch of teenagers, and feeling quite amazed at the beauty and power of the storm that surrounded us. Snow drifts taller than either of us, one of our cars totally snowed in and buried. And the tackle from Scott while I was attempting to shovel, it made me giggle like I haven’t giggled in awhile. Of course, I promptly returned the favor and tackled him back afterwards, but that’s besides the point. ;-)

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(Oh — and we also managed to pull off another #b9poseadaychallenge on Instagram, this time we called it the #b9poseadaysnowedin challenge where we asked clients to attempt their best pose while out in the snow. Here’s my attempt at glutes at the barre:)

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Like drinking good wine, continuing our rummy war tradition (I continue to lose almost every time, btw), savoring a delicious snowed-in date night on Friday and another snowed-in date night on Saturday, complete with two movie rentals on-demand, lots of snuggling, and yep, lots of wine drinking (I mean really, what else is there to do in a snow storm??). 

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Now. I’m not trying to paint a rosy picture here, I am not perfect. There were moments this weekend where my go-go-go side wanted to come out to play. I desperately pushed ‘her’ away. I didn’t want her to come out and ruin this chance to reset  my brain a little bit. But, yes — there were moments when I thought “I should go build some playlists for class” or “maybe I should wash the floors, they are looking a little messy from the snow.” But I promise you, the only productive thing I did this weekend was run on the treadmill and do some abs and I suppose you can count baking cookies and low fat brownie bites as ‘productive’ so sure, I’ll toss that into the list too.

But overall? If I’m giving myself a grade for this progress report of mine — I’d give myself a solid B. Not a C — that would be average and I feel I’ve done better than average with ample room to grow. And definitely not an “A” because as you can see, I definitely have work to do and am probably never going to be one of those truly laid-back types that can toss aside to-do lists completely.

But that’s ok.
It’s just not who I am.
I am me,  a perfectly imperfect me, at that.