I was looking for redemption this morning.
…Redemption from that disastrous 20-miler last week.
…Redemption from the mind games that I let control me while on that run.
…Redemption from the doubt that started to creep in…the “why the hell am I doing this??” kind of self-doubt.
This morning I got that redemption…and then some. We literally demolished our 22 miler this morning. Killed it.
(once again, looks here are very deceiving, I was in so much pain — it took all of my strength to amble on over to Scott, sit in his lap and position the camera correctly. If you look really close, you can see the pain amid my furrowed brows lol)
Everything just felt right today. The air was the coolest it’s been in weeks…not a lick of humidity in the air whatsoever. It was dark to start…which I just love, it puts me in this zen-like state, so peaceful and calming. We were nicely fueled thanks to our usual pizza night shenanigans the night prior. But most of all — we were ready. Ready for redemption. Ready to prove to ourselves that we’re right where we need to be with just weeks to go before Chicago.
Two phrases whirred around in my head this morning and I truly believe it’s what helped me stay ‘in’ it without letting my thoughts control me in that mental mind game sort of way.
The first came from a friend, Meaghan, who I adore and totally admire (she’s training for an ULTRA, I mean really, that’s just amazing). She lives and breathes running — it’s what fuels her, it’s her passion, it’s her first love (aside from her daughter maybe, hehe). Her words:
“Let the run come to you.”
I took her words to heart. I internalized them. I held onto them for dear life today. I let the miles come as they may, I didn’t force them, I didn’t overthink them. I simply ran. Letting the run come to me instead of the other way around.
The second phrase that drove me onward today? They came from my sis who gave me the sweetest, most thoughtful, most perfectly-written card. (side note: a card out of the blue, or a hand-written note for that matter — totally lost art form if you ask me, it sends such a signal of thoughtfulness and love that you don’t get from a text message or an email…). The words from that card…scripture actually:
“I have great confidence in you.” – 2 Corinthians 7:4
Simple, beautiful words. Comforting. I literally chanted that phrase over and over in my head anytime my brain started to veer towards mental mind game territory. I also thought a lot about my sisters on this run…both of them. And how much I love them and admire them and don’t tell them nearly enough.
I’m keeping today’s post short today — as I still don’t think I’ve quite let the 22 miles sink in yet. That we did this…together, yet again. We powered through even when everything started to hurt and all I wanted to do was stop. Scott was my sherpa today — cheering me on, telling me to stay right by his hip and he’d carry me home, and it got me through those painful last few miles. I had to stop myself a few times from breaking down in tears the closer we got to home — I was just so in awe of us in those final moments, so proud, so amazed. In fact, I did cry as we hit the home stretch. Scott took off ahead of me and was waiting for me at the finish, cheering me on with that huge smile of his. And I just lost it. Just for a minute. Just a few tears and sobs escaped. It was my way of ‘letting the run come to me’ – through tears of joy, pride, and yes, utter exhaustion.
We did this. Yet again. And we’ll do this *again* on October 7 in Chicago.
…and yes, there will be tears then too. You’ve been warned.